Often times I doubt you

I know that you can do anything

But there is always that small weed that chokes my seemingly fragile plant of faith

Which continuously fails to take root

I try and go deep but this worms of uncertainty always block my way

What I guess I’m trying to say is,

I don’t know how to approach you

When it comes to things of the spirit

I feel like a blind beggar tracking through the Sahara desert

with a cup filled with sea water

Yet I believe that your Grace is sufficient

I stumble over pebbles more times than I realize

and even welcome deceit enthusiastically

All because I fail to know you

My pastor tells me that you will change my life

and I’m quick to make the choice to change

but when it is time to act,

What I saw as a mere hill – always feels like

a mountain range when I start to climb!

It’s no wonder I give up as quickly as I started

After a while I just get tired,

Tired of starting over but not

enough to stop trying

So I wake up and battle a fight I should have won years ago

What I am trying to say is,

I feel lost.

I know enough to know I don’t know anything

I thought I was headed in the right direction

But the enormous pile of uncertainty ahead

leads me to question every decision I make

The failures that lie scattered behind me only

feed my appetite of doubt

Regardless of all this;

I remain confident in you

I may have messed up more times than I know

but I trust you…

I trust you!

I trust in you to make a way

I know that this is all my doing

Yet I trust that you will fix it all

Many times I have doubted your plans

but I know that your Grace is always greater than my doubts

So in this sea of failure I find myself stranded in,

I keep swimming.

Assured that you have sent a life boat to fetch me

Even when I am ridiculed and mocked for being such

a terrible representation of Christ

I trust in you

Lord,

I pray you hear me.

I know I often make microwave prayers to ease my guilt

however I trust you to bring a change

I may have gone off course and often got lost

but I trust that you are always there,

Holding my hand so I never go off the cliff

What do you think?

comments