Diary of a an uncertain Miss

I met him in a lecture; he was quite an intriguing character from the moment I saw him walk into the hall. It was quite noisy, I was sitting alone and he headed in my direction after surveying the hall. I assumed that he had spotted the free space on my row. Without hesitation he slid into the long bench that was a familiar sight in almost every hall on campus. Now sitting right next to me, he said “hi”. I turned towards him and greeted back. With a huge smile on his face he asked what course I was studying. Pretty soon we had a conversation going. He was a pleasant guy; funny too. Although his jokes bordered close to the line of stupidity, he kept me smiling throughout our whole conversation.

After the lecture we strolled through campus. I was free for two hours and he claimed to be free for the rest of the day. He offered to hold my bag and casually spewed out compliments. Flattered by all his words, I often blushed uncontrollably. He was quite a gentleman. Afterwards we reached my next lecture. Thanking him for the relaxing walk and giving him a hug, I took my bag back.

“So what steps can we take to continue this conversation?” He asked while smirking. I laughed. Despite the tacky line, I offered to give him my number. We parted ways. It took him two days to call me, the conversation was short and he just checked up on me. After that our conversations took place through WhatsApp when we were not together. I eventually took a liking to him and gave the hints that usually let the guy know I was into him. However he never asked me out.

He was always sincere and we would spend a lot of time together. I was quite dumbfounded as to why he had not asked me out. After all, his actions and posture all screamed, “I am into you!” yet he never verbalised his actual intentions. Before long I was confused and unsure about where exactly we were heading. But then again spending time with him was always a wonderful experience; he made me feel like I was the only girl in his world.

After a while he became predictable. I got used to his habits, his compliments became a part of his ocean of vocabulary and he would do everything I asked him to. He was decent husband material but he just never did anything out of the ordinary, frequently letting me take control. However because of his sincerity I just loved being around him. He made me feel exquisite and significant.

It was a short lived experience. After a month he invited me to his flat; he had cooked for me and we had a wonderful lunch. However, as we stood at the balcony overlooking the incredible view of the city, there was a knock on the door. He seemed as surprised as I was. He was not expecting other visitors.

“Hey, why didn’t you tell me you were back?” This short, gorgeous girl said as she walked into the kitchen. With a smile on his face, he embraced her the same way he hugged me whenever we met. A hint of jealousy bubbled up. The girl had not noticed me yet. “So where have you being hiding the whole day, you know I’ve missed you hey.” I was dumbfounded. He never mentioned the existence of a girlfriend in his life. I am guessing that is why he never asked me out, nevertheless, that did not explain the wonderful lunch we just had.

I stepped into the kitchen. Finally noticing me, she asked who I was cheerfully. He introduced her as the girl who lived downstairs. She was friendly and I soon realised that they were just friends or at least it seemed that way. She left after dishing up the left overs. He offered to show me around the flat. I noticed that he knew every girl we came across. Could he be a player? The fact that all the girls were friendly and did not seem surprised to see me was perplexing. Maybe he regularly brought girls over or he might be sleeping with all these girls. Our uncategorised relationship did not help in clarifying things either.

Later on he walked me back to my place. I had varied feelings about him. He was a puzzling character and I was baffled by our position. However I did not talk about how I felt in fear of being labelled the desperate girl. Our ‘relationship’ was anything but. In addition the more time I spent with him, the more I realised that he was not the typical guy.

To be continued…

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