So today I learned a new word: Thantophobia. Quite a fascinating word, not even spell check or my dictionary has ever heard of it. As a matter of fact, auto correct changed it to “That phobia”. My laptop needs to be more open-minded. In any case, thantophobia is the fear of losing someone you love. I am pretty sure most, if not all of us, have this phobia.
But why is it that we always take the risk of love in the first place? By loving, I am not only referring to romantic love but love in all its entity. I mean, if there is risk of heartbreak why even bother taking the chance? These are questions that I often ask myself. In all honesty, I still have not found the answer; well, not a reasonable one anyway.
So to protect myself from heartbreak, I made a decision years ago not to get emotionally attached to people. Brilliant wasn’t it? Remove the risk and you are safe. Or so I thought. Life teaches you that there are many things about yourself that you do not control. Who you fall for is one of those things. Ok, maybe I am lying; after all, if I spend a lot of time with a person, I am creating the potential for feelings to develop. But no one understands their feelings anyway, I know I don’t. Irrespective love often comes at the most unexpected times. It is like the person you fall for breaks into your heart undetected and places themselves on your throne; pretty soon you think you cannot live without them that is until they break your heart!
Ok, maybe I am exaggerating. Let us recap a bit. What is love? I used to consider love a feeling; when butterflies fly in your stomach – according to movies. Though we never question how those butterflies entered the digestive system or why they have not dissolved in the hydrochloric acid that fills the stomach. I think that is enough bragging about how I still remember my Biology lessons.
So what exactly is love if it is not a feeling? If you are born again, you will know that love is Jesus; God in the physical. I believe love is giving yourself, your time and heart to someone or people in general. Think about it. Most of us first encounter love in our mothers. With the exception of dogs, Mothers are the most selfless species on earth. They dedicate their entire life to caring, raising and teaching a small, cute, annoying toddler how to be a person. There are few mothers who would throw their child out because he failed in school or disobeyed. Their love is not based on the child’s actions, it is based on their decision to love the child.
Isn’t that what the Bible means when it says, “He loved the world so much, He GAVE His only son”? I believe love is giving. Such a simple definition isn’t it? Sacrificing yourself for another Human being. However I have derailed greatly from the topic; Thantophobia. I guess we are all afraid of losing someone we love. But then again if we choose never to love, are we not just choosing not to live? Love is what makes life worthwhile. Even if the risk of heartbreak is high, we should choose to love not because we have feelings for someone but because we have chosen to love them despite their flaws.
What do you think? Is the reward always worth the risk? Should we love based on our heart or mind? Please Comment below, like and share!
P.S – I checked Google and it turns out that the word “thantophobia” does not exist, it is actually a misspelling of “thanatophobia” which is the fear of death. However, our dictionaries are expandable this days. Remember they added the word ‘twerking’ in the dictionary right before removing the word ‘determination.’