So a few things; I would like to apologise for neglecting this story. I know it is quite intriguing and a few of you can relate to some of the character’s experiences. however I finally wrote this chapter.
A few people have asked me to write the conclusion of the story but I believe that since this is not just a story with a linear plot, a straight forward conclusion undermines the complexities of this character’s experience. anyway, enough rambling, I’ll just leave you to soak in these chapter and please let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Enjoy!
I am awoken by the floor vibrating. Getting on my knees, I notice that I am still on the floor. Probably passed out the night before. I cannot believe the uncomfortable floor failed to wake me up. Seeing the flashing small light next to me, I grab the phone and squint a little as I try to register what is on the display. It’s James. Grunting loudly, I send him to voicemail. I get up and head to the bathroom. An hour and a half later I am ready for campus.
As I open the front door, I see him sitting on the ground leaning against the wall across the hall. He looks up, his face flushed with fear, confusion, doubt and an emotion I could not quite read. My heart almost stops as I am taken back by his presence. I stare at him for a moment until he gets up. Snapping back into the moment, I quickly try to close the door but he blocks it.
“Can I please explain.” He shouts as he gently pushes the door open. Giving up trying to keep him out, I let go of the door and walk back to the sofa. He walks in and closes the door. Silence settles in briefly before he speaks
“I’m sorry Angela”
“Sorry won’t make me a virgin again.” I shout, breaking down into tears in the process. Collapsing onto the sofa, I bury my face into my palms, unable to stop sobbing. He seats next to me and puts his arm around me. I push him away. He tries again. This time pulling me onto his chest, I rest my head on his shirt attempting to breath properly and failing miserably. Why am I being comforted by the arms that caused these tears?
“How could you?” I ask between sobs, “I trusted you. Why James? Why? I let you take my innocence and you manipulated me. Why would you do this to me?”
“I didn’t rape Ndi…” He mutters.
Frantically breaking free from his embrace, I jump to my feet as my anger jumps through the roof. I cannot believe he would deny something so serious. I consider lashing out at him but I know it would be a waste of time. As I turn around to face him, all I see when I look at him is a monster. He sits there calmly staring at me, his face no different from when I first saw him in the hallway.
“Get out.” I whisper, he gets on his feet and takes a step towards me. I step back, folding my arms and looking away. I hear him breathe in heavily before he turns to walk towards the door. I watch him get to the door then turn around and look at me.
“I didn’t rape Ndi, I liked her and took her out. She was a nice girl and we had fun. After the movies she invited me back to her place. We talked for a bit and I asked to kiss her, she agreed and I did. One thing led to another, we went to her room and most of our clothes ended up on the floor, before I took off her pants, she told me to stop. I did.” He pauses, looks down and continues with a softer voice.
“However when I was getting dressed, she started kissing me again, we continued where we left off but she kept stopping me from time to time then telling me it was ok, that she was ready. We eventually had sex, then a week later she accused me of raping her. I didn’t rape her Angela, I’d never do that to any girl.”
He turns towards the door again, opens it and leaves. Leaving me standing there, more confused than before. His genuine voice does not make things any easier for me. I decide to stay at the flat the rest of the day. My plan proceeds properly until the late afternoon when I get a call from Ndi. She sounds concerned and asks why I missed the session with the psychologist.
“oh my gosh, was that today?” I exclaim. “I completely forgot.”
“It’s fine, you will just reschedule. Can we talk tomorrow?” Ndi asks. I agree and she asks about my day. I tell her that it was fine and that I did not come to campus because I was not feeling well, not wanting to tell her about James. She wishes me a goodnight and hangs up after a short trivial conversation.
The next day comes quicker than I would like it to. I meet Ndi during lunch time and we decide to take a walk, neither of us having an appetite. We talk about school for a while before anything is mentioned about our current circumstances. She remarks about how her academic focus took a huge hit since James showed up. Eventually she pauses midway while talking about her previous class. The silence indicates that she is going to bring the rape issue up.
“I bumped into James yesterday.” She blurts out, I stop walking and stare at her bewildered, waiting for her to continue. “We talked for a bit about everything.”
“And?” I ask.
“And I forgive him Angela. It was a long time ago and although the psychologist recommends we open a rape case, I feel like he has already paid for his sins for long enough. I mean, I was in high school. I think it’s time I let it go Angela. You should to, it’s not worth the trouble to send him to jail.”
“What are you talking about Ndi?” You said this guy raped you and now you just want to let it go? How is that going to undo everything that’s happened? It’s you and your selfishness that got me into this mess. If you had just told me about him back in matric, I would still be a virgin today. It’s your fault I am in this situation and now you just want to let it go? No Ndi, you are being stupid. I can’t believe this.” I say while trying to keep calm and keep my voice down.
I stop and take a deep breath, trying to stay calm. Fortunately we are in an isolated area so there is no one to witness my outbursts. I shake my head in disbelief. Maybe James was not lying. Ndi just stands there looking at the floor. A tear rolls down her right cheek. Not being able to hold myself, I just decide to walk away. She does not stop me, instead she stands there; motionless.