So a friend recently shared her experience of a situation that so many of us go through.

This is her story

It was the first time he had seen me in my pyjamas. After leaving my place late, we could not get transport for him to go back home so the only other alternative was for him to spend the night at my place.

I was quite scared, although we had discussed the fact that I was going to only have sex when I got married, I knew that he would not let such an opportunity slip by. Quite sure that this would be the night I lost my virginity; I slowly got into bed, facing away from him.

After trying to sleep on the floor earlier on, he had convinced me that it would be better if we just share the bed. I was nervous and unsure. A moment later I felt his arms wrap around me. That startled me a bit but he was undeterred. He started whispering how much he loved me and that he had waited a long time for this moment.

My heart rate increased drastically. I remained silent. His arms left me for a while, there was a bit of shuffling in the bed but I was too nervous to check what he was doing. Then his arms returned, I could feel his warm chest press against my top. He turned me around. With my back  now on the bed, he gently took off my pyjama top. I just stared at him quietly.

Thereafter my pants followed and I was left in my bra and panty. What astonished me the most was that I was conscious of every action and every sound. Most girls had told me that when they lost their virginity, it just happened without them thinking things through. Yet here I was on my back knowing full well what all this would lead to.

When I snapped back into reason, I gazed at this stranger that was now on top of me, he only had his boxers on. His eyes were blood red. a bit of sweat trailed down his face. He gazed at me like a lion about to take down it’s prey. Trying to take control of the situation, I told him I wasn’t ready. He said it would not hurt. I tried to push him off me but his whole weight pinned me down.

He seemed indifferent to my struggle. I repeated myself, speaking more sternly this time. A look of desperation washed over his face. With a pleading voice, he begged to penetrate me for just four seconds. Now in dismay, I immediately refused, knowing full well that it was not worth it. He tightly held onto my wrists and spread my legs slightly with his own legs. I felt powerless and struggled to take in breath.

“OK fine, do what ever you want!”

I uttered in a weak voice as a tear streamed down the side of my face. He finally noticed I was no longer trying to break free from his hold. He briefly stared into my damp eyes as he calmed down. He rolled off me. Apologising briefly. His back was facing me. I turned away, still shaking. Silence gradually streamed into the room as my sobs subsided. After a while I dosed off, the images of what had just occurred replaying in my mind.

From <https://www.facebook.com/AlphieSpeaks/notes>

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